A PRAYER TO SENILITY

 

 

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. 

Now that I’m older (but refuse to grow up) here’s what I’ve discovered….

 

ONE – I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

TWO – My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

THREE – I finally got my head together now my body is falling apart.

 FOUR – Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

FIVE – All reports are in, life is now officially unfair.

SIX – If all is not lost, where is it?

SEVEN – It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

EIGHT – Some days you are the statue some days you’re the pigeon.

NINE – I wish the buck stopped here, I sure could use a few.

TEN – Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

ELEVEN – Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

TWELVE – It’s hard to make a come back when you haven’t been anywhere.

THIRTEEN – The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.

FOURTEEN – If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my   knees.

FIFTEEN – When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

 SIXTEEN – It’s not hard to meet expenses…they’re everywhere.

SEVENTEEN – The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

EIGHTEEN – These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter…I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m here after.

NINETEEN – Send same e-mail twice. Send blank e-mail. Send to email wrong person. Send email back to person who sent it to you. Forget to attach the attachment. Hit "SEND" before you’ve finished the email

 

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4 thoughts on “A PRAYER TO SENILITY

  1. I can relate to too many of these… dang, I  guess I really am getting older. 

  2. Good Morning £
                               I trust you have had a pleasant Bank Holliday.
    I like number seven and number nineteen sounds like me after a glass or  three of wine.
     
    Typical English Bank Holiday weather, wet; windy and the same old  garbage on  tv.
     

  3. hello laird of glencairn!
    i was space hopping, and found myself here, i do like your space, and this blog was brilliant lol
    ..how about the one, where yer ship FINALLY comes in, only for ye to find yerself in a land locked country!!!  ;p
    mags x

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